Fear, Failure, and the Field Notes That Got Me Moving

Hawking in the Midlands in the United Kingdom, circa 2018.

If there’s one thing—if not the thing—that’s kept me from starting this blog, it’s the persistent, soul-squeezing fear of failure. Co-starring: I’m not good enough and Who am I to think I have something worth saying?

Maybe you’ve felt this too.

For years, I’ve doubted myself. Worried what others would think. I wondered if I’d sound ridiculous. But here’s the truth I’ve finally made peace with: I probably will… sometimes. But I probably won’t, most of the time. Most importantly, I’m done making excuses and being afraid of what people will think. I’m doing it, and I’m doing it now.

Because fear of failure is almost never about failure itself. It’s about judgment. It’s about looking foolish for daring to want something—and going after it.

The only thing that’s helped me start doing again is cultivating a solid case of the f*ck-its. When motivation is nowhere to be found, I imagine 90-year-old me: wiser, sassier, and completely done with my excuses. That version of me? She says: Do it. Now.

Whenever I’ve shared my big, scary dreams with older folks—retired mentors, grandparents, random seatmates on planes—their advice is the same: Do it. No second-guessing. No analysis paralysis. Just action.

And they’re right. Because the real danger isn’t falling on your face—it’s never trying at all.

So this year, I’m doing the thing. And I’m bringing the fear with me.

Here are a few tools that have helped me move through fear instead of freezing in it. Maybe they’ll help you too.

Field Tools for Fighting the Fear:

1. Daily Journaling & Monthly Goal Setting

Start small: one sentence a day. One goal a month. Even if you hit 10%, that’s more than zero. Life deserves the kind of intention we bring to work meetings and quarterly reviews in our 9 to 5. What makes your own dreams less worthy of attention? In fact, they deserve more.

2. Ruthlessly Curating Your Social Media Feed

If it drains you, cut it. If it inspires you, keep it. And if it all feels like noise? Step away. When we get quiet enough offscreen, that’s usually when the big breakthroughs happen. So go for that 30-minute walk in silence and pick a topic to focus your attention on–no headphones, no music. Just you, yourself, and your thoughts.

3. Limiting (or Cutting) Alcohol

Not sexy, but effective. More clarity. More energy. Fewer wasted days. It’s a cheat code for getting unstuck. And honestly, there’s never been a day when I haven’t drank too much that I regret not drinking. In fact, it’s always, always the opposite–why did I have that last drink? Why did I text him of all people? I’ve never regretted not drinking, only getting drunk and wasting the following day with a hangover. 

4. Financial Literacy & Debt-Free Living

Having a cushion gives you courage. Your dreams need room to breathe, not bills breathing down your neck. So, yeah, the latest fashion will probably not be in your wardrobe, but that gives you the money for the downpayment on the house, the dream trip you’ve been drying to take for years. The capital to invest. In the end, a designer bag isn’t going to fill you with purpose, joy, or freedom. So get merciless when it comes to what you spend your money on.

5. Scheduling Your Time Like You Mean It

Discipline isn’t a punishment—it’s a portal to the life of your dreams. Create space for the life you say you want. Block it out. Show up for it. Even if it means you skip the happy hours. Because hours at the bar compound into hangovers and wasted money—while hours on your side hustle compound into freedom, a business launched, income flowing. Which is worth it now?

When you start building these habits, life opens up. Fear loosens its grip. Failure stops being a wall and starts becoming a compass. 

Because here’s the truth: you will make mistakes, you will need to course correct, but that isn’t failure. That’s learning. Growing. Thriving. And it takes mistakes to make it. 

In the end, failure is just a field note that says: you’re trying.

And that? That’s living.

So go do something with purpose and potential.