I Went Missing in March—For a Reason

Growth is questioning your decisions—and still making them and moving forward. It’s building the muscle of trust and discernment within yourself over what anyone else has to say, while keeping an open mind to advice that actually helps you.

Growth is painful. It’s messy. It’s usually more akin to a scene from a movie with a jungle—and a woman with a machete hacking her way through in a general direction of where she thinks she should be going. It’s never—well, almost never—the clear, clean road with a city silhouette on the horizon.

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Key Takeaways

• Growth often feels like disruption—habits slipping doesn’t mean you’re off track

• Not everything can be optimized at once; prioritize what matters most in each season

• Self-trust is built by making decisions before you feel fully certain

• Consistency isn’t perfection—it’s returning after things fall off

• Sometimes progress is happening beneath the surface, even when it doesn’t look like it

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And if you’ve been in a season where you’re growing—you know it isn’t comfortable. It’s hard, and you’re uncertain most of the time if you’re doing it right or ever going to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Routines might flounder. Habits might no longer be habitual. In a season of growth, the best thing you can do for yourself is give yourself leniency—and the space to sort through what actually needs your attention.

This past March, I went missing. Habits were disrupted, routines delayed, because a huge decision needed to be made—a move to a new city—and I needed to find an apartment.

And instead of flogging myself with I could have done better or Does this mean I lack discipline?, I took a breath, sidestepped the oncoming train of anxious spiraling, and got real with myself.

And this realness is something I’m going to share with you—to help in times of your own growth, or change, or challenge—because you can bet all three are going to come for you (and me) until we’re six feet under.

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When You Decide to Do Something, Don’t Share It… Yet

Most of the time, people you love—and who (hopefully) love you—like friends, family, coworkers, your trainer, your therapist—don’t mean to be discouraging or unsupportive of your dreams. But a lot of times, they can destroy something, or at least hinder it, before it has time to fully form in your own heart, mind, and soul.

Keep the seedlings of growth and ideas of change to yourself when they first enter your mind. Execute them in silence and consistency. Get clear on what you want and why you want it. When you’re 75 percent sure of your choice—having built some of the habits, done the research, or taken the first step—then feel free to share with those you trust.

But don’t share too soon just for reassurance that what you’re feeling is correct or what you want to do is right. If it’s a major life decision, expect resistance. That’s normal. So be sure of yourself first—before sharing the dream, the goal, or the change with anyone else.

When I decided to move, I kept it to myself. I already had small, creeping doubts—concerns about safety, security, and loneliness. And while I didn’t actively ask for advice, it naturally came up when people asked why I was going away for the weekend. I’d mention a city scouting trip, and their reactions—however well-intentioned—reflected their own discomfort.

That was enough for me to lock in, get serious in my journaling, and do the work to understand why I wanted this move and what I needed from a new environment that I wasn’t getting from my current one.

More than anything, that made me feel secure—not completely anxiety-free (I never will be), but grounded. I know myself better. I know why I want what I want. And because of that, regret won’t exist—even if hard moments come.

Growth and Change Will Disrupt Your Routine

If you’re making a big decision—or even trying to change something small like waking up earlier—your current systems will be shaken. Let them be shaken, and adjust to what you need in this time of change—with an end point in sight if possible.

Don’t completely abandon your routines or rituals—adapt them.

Meditate for 5 minutes instead of 20.

Work out for 30 minutes instead of 50.

Lift lighter weights, but keep the commitment.

Eat simpler, healthy meals.

Push the clock back and sleep an extra 30 minutes.

Rest more.

Take the time you need to support yourself so you don’t completely abandon yourself. Adjust for the season so that when the storm passes, you can return to your routines more easily—instead of rebuilding from scratch. Scale down, but don’t stop.

I went from running, playing tennis, and strength training three times a week, to keeping two 3-mile runs, one night of tennis, and two strength training days. And I dedicated myself to researching apartments, booking tours, exploring neighborhoods—and giving myself time to rest.

Yes, that meant watching video game playthroughs on YouTube.

Objectively? Unproductive.

Realistically? Necessary.

It gave my anxious, ambitious mind space to just exist without pressure. And I’m better for it.

Not Everything Can Be Optimized at Once

You can’t be perfectly consistent and perfectly disciplined in every area of your life while making a major life shift. That’s not possible—and it’s not healthy.

If change or challenge is happening, focus on what needs your energy most. Decide what can be deprioritized or temporarily paused without compromising what truly matters.

For me, I handled my job well—but not at 100%. More like 75–80%, so I could free up mental space for this move.

My workouts scaled back—from six or seven a week to three. Sometimes two. Four if I was lucky.

Meditation dropped from ten minutes to two.

But journaling? That increased. It gave me clarity and helped me process anxious thoughts.

So did sleep. I needed ten hours instead of eight.

Make space for what supports you—and trim back what doesn’t need full intensity right now. Just be intentional about what you want to keep in your life, so you can return to it without friction when this season ends.

Self-Trust Is Built in Uncertainty

This circles back to not sharing.

With big changes—and the growth that comes with them—you’re breaking parts of yourself down and rebuilding. It can be terrifying. Or at the very least, humbling.

This is when you come back to your why.

Trust the process.

Self-trust and confidence are built here—but you usually don’t recognize it until later. A year from now, you’ll look back and realize you survived something that once felt overwhelming.

It’s not about having the perfect plan.

It’s about making decisions while still questioning them—and moving forward anyway.

Consistency Isn’t What You Think It Is

Consistency isn’t doing everything right every day.

It’s returning—again and again—after things slip.

It’s not giving up.

If you miss a day or two, come back on day three. Do two minutes. Do something. Keep the habit alive in any form.

Consistency over intensity—always.

Intensity will shift as your life changes. But showing up, even in a smaller way, is what keeps you consistent.

Don’t overthink it.

Just show up.

Pick up the ten-pound weight instead of the twenty.

Write one paragraph instead of a page.

Just keep going.

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So if things feel messy right now—whether you’re making a big life move or just trying to show up a little better each day—it doesn’t mean you’re off track.

It might mean you’re actually in it.